we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
