Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
