Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
