Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
