i just google imaged poop.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
