walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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