Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
