try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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