yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED