if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling