Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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