Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.