Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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  (715): Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/2g9l
  Replies (28) Good night (1164) Bad night (3920)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.

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  (770): If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day. http://tfl.nu/zol0
  Replies (37) Good night (4025) Bad night (622)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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  (973): I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick http://tfl.nu/xw1l
  Replies (41) Good night (1193) Bad night (3779)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....

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  (501): so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened.... http://tfl.nu/g3ve
  Replies (39) Good night (648) Bad night (6463)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.

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  (609): So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that. http://tfl.nu/rpbd
  Replies (33) Good night (5647) Bad night (1131)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

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  (978): She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo http://tfl.nu/4j6u
  Replies (22) Good night (8190) Bad night (726)
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  (310): View more from California

  Slut skills are useful in every country.

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  (310): Slut skills are useful in every country. http://tfl.nu/pvtq
  Replies (14) Good night (4642) Bad night (767)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...

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  (386): Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland... http://tfl.nu/taw4
  Replies (9) Good night (5740) Bad night (1012)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat

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  (978): Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat http://tfl.nu/7lwm
  Replies (18) Good night (4375) Bad night (817)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.

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  (202): Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it. http://tfl.nu/4ii1
  Replies (2) Good night (2964) Bad night (792)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"

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  (210): when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug" http://tfl.nu/5kj7
  Replies (7) Good night (1618) Bad night (613)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.

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  (989): Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door. http://tfl.nu/7hia
  Replies (4) Good night (1358) Bad night (630)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.

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  (973): But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing. http://tfl.nu/ee1i
  Replies (1) Good night (621) Bad night (444)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.

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  (443): I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done. http://tfl.nu/8szd
  Replies (10) Good night (1348) Bad night (412)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.

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  (604): Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok. http://tfl.nu/aeg5
  Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (339)

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