I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it