so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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