I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
