The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
