Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
