Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you had me at cake vodka
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
