You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
