lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
