where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
well you can't waste a boner
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
