if i can run in heels then i can drive
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
