So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
