batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
