I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
