hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Randomize
