Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize