so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
