I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize