..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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