WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
