I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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