ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
me + whiskey = a bad person
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
