The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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