i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
