what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
