exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
