24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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