I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize