I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
