I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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