Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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