so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
