The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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