u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
