is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
