it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
