that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
