weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
