It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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