Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
