Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
