you turned your livingroom into a bong?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize