That's intense
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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