Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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