I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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