Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
