I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.