they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"