When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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