ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
