My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This is classic penis vs brain.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I deserve this hangover.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
