Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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